I love my natural hair and I love encouraging others to embrace their curls. I am the first to speak up in defense of natural hair against ignorant comments like those made by celeb stylist Andre Walker and ridiculous advice of JoAnn Robertson in Type F vids. But can we also be honest to say that natural hair women can be OVERLY sensitive in regards to their hair. I have seen it time again on twitter, message boards and fb. Someone states their opinion on natural hair and they are darn near lynched being called everything but a child of God.
The most recent victim is actor Isaiah Mustafa aka the Old Spice guy. According to a post on Black Girl Long Hair in a television interview Mustafa was asked if he was dating anyone and what he was looking for in a future mate. Mustafa commented that he wanted to date a woman with “good hair….because [his] hair is nappy”. He also stated he wanted his “kids to have nice hair”. Yep that’s fighting words.
Oh no he didn’t say the two most hated terms in the natural hair dialect: “good hair” and “nappy”. Who does he think he is? In the words of John Wayne: “Fill your hands you sonofabitch!”
But in all reality, guess what: people are allowed to have types and preferences. We all have them. They help us determine friendships, mates, team members, etc. and apparently Mustafa just doesn’t dig girls with kinks. So what? I think he’s an attractive looking man, but he ain’t my cup of tea either. I like my men tall 6′ or above, head full of locs and chocolate skin like this pic *swoon*. Am I now going to be attacked by an army of short, light-skinned, guys with fades?
The point is something can only offend you if you let. Words solely have the power you give them. I don’t find the term nappy offensive, in fact I use it to describe my own hair. I don’t want to beat the proverbial dead horse, but nappy is the new “n-word” for naturals and in my opinion we need to build a bridge and get over it. Mustafa did not attack anyone personally or degrade them he stated his preference using terms that where widely understood. While I don’t agree with connotation associated with the term “good hair”, I am not offended by its use. Not everyone is going to like my natural hair and that’s okay because truth be told I didn’t like it much either. It was not until a few years ago that I was challenged to love my natural curls and it has been a battle but I do love them. And while I think Mustafa’s goal of having children with “nice hair” is silly, its okay because that is his choice. As for me and my naps we’ll be over here doing something important like perfecting the flawless twist-out.