Remembering the Life of Tabasha Paige

This is a post that really has everything and nothing to do with natural hair.  I met my friend Tabasha Paige through a mutual friend (my friend, her cousin Jaime) on Facebook.  She sent me a message stating:

“Don’t think I am crazy, I know we aren’t really friends but your hair is awesome!”

That is all it took.  From then friend requests were sent and accepted and what started out as a love for natural hair, bloomed into a shared love for 70’s, 80’s & 90’s music and further blossomed into a wonderful friendship. I wrote this post to celebrate her life and not have her remembered for her tragic death.

Tabasha and I have a shared belief that for whatever emotions you are feeling there is a song out there that was written just for that moment and we would often share youtube clips on our FB walls. Whether we were drooling over Prince, bopping along to cheesy 80’s RnB, or shocking our friends with our eclectic taste for classic rock or worldwide indie grooves there was a mutual love and respect as music is the universal language.

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We once determined that our friendship song was Joe Cocker’s, Beatles Cover – With A Little Help From My Friends (Most of you would remember this as the theme song from The Wonder Years)

We were also lovers of remakes, here’s another Beatle’s song (go figure) covered by Carlos Santana ft. India Arie – While My Guitar Gently Weeps

In a time of comfort there is no better song than this The Pretenders – I’ll Stand By You

We were always on a search for the obscure, trying to wow one another with a song the other had never heard. She introduced me to this cut Theophilus London – Flying Overseas

Since we always loved throwbacks, I thought it fitting to share this, Tabasha you are finally free! Deniece Williams – Free

I leave you here with final words from Tabasha, a blog she wrote entitled Passing Thoughts:

Ever feel like you visualize the perfect picture and then somehow possess a hard copy? As you gaze at the picture in hand, a sense of motivation, dedication, eagerness, and inspiration come into you unpolluted, undiluted. Suddenly you look up and everything around you is crumbling. In a hysteric rage, you crumble that picture and it’s perfection. A ray of sunshine peers through the rumbles that was your world. It’s enough to warm your heart. Put a smile on your face. You remember the crumbled picture and smooth it to again gaze upon it’s beauty. It’s not as perfect as it once was, but still beautiful. Somewhere down the line, many storms have come. That picture has been crumble many a time. It’s beauty has vanished in the creases and folds. The picture is no longer clear… I wish I could remember what I’m trying to forget.

If you or anyone you know is in a troubled relationship and need help, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline @ 1−800−799−SAFE(7233)


35 thoughts on “Remembering the Life of Tabasha Paige

  1. My heart is beyond heavy reading this (and the news article)! Thank you for sharing this information with us. I am glad that she was able to build a relationship with you so that you could share her story with other women who may be in the same perdicament. My prayers go out to her family and friends and the lives that were impacted by her and her chidren’s lives. It is an undertaking to lose one, I can’t imagine the loss of 5. May God provide them clarity, patience and forgiveness.


  2. Abuse is something that we as a society shouldn’t have to endure. I have been there & blessed to be able to share my experience w/other woman. Tabasha is now in Eternal Peace w/her heavenly father. I’m proud to be able read impact she had on family, friends & loved ones lives. I pray GOD gives the family comfort in their time of need.

    • Thank you so much for sharing your story. Tabasha was truly a beautiful soul and I am blessed to have called her friend. We need to stop the cycle of violence and that starts with getting rid of the stigma by telling our stories. Speak Up, Speak Out!

  3. My heart is so heavy after reading this,my heart goes out to the family of this beautiful woman and her babies, Earth knows no sorrow that heaven can not heal”.. praying for the entire family.

  4. Mercy.

    In agreement with the comments above, thank you for sharing this story. Tabasha did not pass in vain as this will help someone, somewhere.
    I will lift her family and friends up in prayer.


  5. My heart goes out to you and the family for the loss of Tabasha and her precious children; it’s difficult for me to even fathom taking the life of a mother and her babies – it truly makes me sad. I pray that they are in peace and that this story does reach, touch, and help someone else. Ase.

  6. where to even begin on a story like this? through reading your words i felt drawn to her personality. she seemed so full of beautiful light. i read the news story and felt shaken after i read her blog entry. thank you for sharing her story and making her much more than a statistic for a news article. my thoughts and prayers go out to her family and friends.

  7. My Goodness, my heart goes out to her family, her friends and to you. How tragic indeed and the children, just sad. I pray that God moves in a mighty way to give peace and comfort and that not only will her life be remembered for who she was, but that others will continue to strive to end violence and domestically abusive relationships.


  8. Beautiful sisters,

    We, Tabasha’s family, are moved to learn of your friendship with our girl Basha. Thank you for sharing your memories of her through photos, words, and music. She loved her natural hair, loved to sport her full afro, afro puffs, and afro twists. And you’re right — she dug retro. She was a beautiful spirit and is now with the Father. She is now free…

    Thank you again so much. We are going to carry forward the message to speak up and speak out about domestic violence.

    We are posting information on Facebook regarding memorial services. Please join us.

    Tabasha’s great-aunt (her mom’s aunt),

    Evelyn (Evie) Young

  9. Bittersweet. I went to high school with Tabasha and it was really horrible to hear what happend. My prayers go out to her family and loved ones. I will always remember her beautiful smile. Thank you for your words and sharing pictures. Definately warms my heart to see her again. I will always think of her walking around campus with some crazy hair and singing and dancing like no one is watching. =)

  10. How beautiful! I did not know my niece this way. What a beautiful and most confident woman of color – – sporting her natural hairstyles. This is bittersweet. Thanks for sharing this, as you have painted a vivid, additional dimension of my dear niece. God has a purpose for each of us, and just as Shae wrote above, I believe Tabasha’s story will live long to help others in domestic violence and controlling relationships. She continues to fulfill her purpose, as predestined by God Almighty. ~ Sarah B, Bakersfield, CA

  11. I will pray for the family of your friend. Unfortunately, my family went through a similar situation with my cousin back in 2007. Even now, we are dealing with it. My prayer that the lives of your friend, my cousin and others in a similar situation serve as beacons of light for those faced with similar circumstances. Their stories will hopefully help someone and these tragedies will be prevented. May God Bless You and Keep You During These Difficult Times

    • My heart goes out to you and your family. It always seems like these things happen to “other people” until they happen to you. I pray the Lord that someone reads what happens and it gives them the courage to reach out and get help. *hugs*

    • My prayers are with you, as well, Sweet Sister. As we are united in this tragedy, my hope is that we all will lend our voices to awareness and prevention of domestic violence. Peace to you.


  12. Please pray also for the first responders who battled heroically to save the lives of Tabasha and the children, as well as the photojournalists, reporters who witnessed this trauma first-hand. They have been equally affected. Pray for the people of Medford who met Tabasha’s grandmother and me with overwhelming compassion and kindness. About 300 people came to their candlelight vigil last Friday evening. Most did not know her or the children but were affected by their untimely and violent passing. We pray for their healing and that the love and compassion they showed for us continues to flow in their community and overflows their borders.


  13. Memorial services for Tabasha (30), Elijah (7), Isaac (6), Andrew (5), and Aurora (2) are as follows:

    FRIDAY, July 29, 2011

    Viewing: 4-8 p.m.
    Wake: 7-9 p.m.

    Emmanuel Temple Church
    Pastor Tommie Wofford
    431 Brundage Lane
    Bakersfield, CA 93304
    (661) 809-2472

    SATURDAY, July 30, 2011

    Homegoing Service: 10:00 a.m.

    St. John Missionary Baptist Church
    1401 E. Brundage Lane
    Bakersfield, CA 93307
    (661) 324-5683

    Internment: Immediately following service

    Union Cemetery
    730 Potomac Avenue (corner of King & Potomac)
    Bakersfield, CA 93307
    (661) 324-9648

    Repast: Immediately following internment (~1:30 p.m.??)

    Bakersfield Masonic Temple
    1920 18th Street (1 block west of Greyhound Bus Station)
    Bakersfield, CA 93301
    (661( 322-3848

  14. I finally went out again last night, even though I didn’t really feel like it knowing I wouldn’t bump into Tabasha. Uncanny – the club played so much Prince music, I felt her there with me. I didn’t drink, or party, I danced a little & sat a lot thinking about Tabby & “visiting with her”. I will never forget her. Meeting her sweet children was like seeing beautiful parts of her. She had me meet her husband even though I didn’t want to, she said “He’s all bark & no bite” But barking dogs do bite. She showed such strength, even when opening up to me a bit about her troubles, she remained the strong independant woman who was torn between trying to fix up her house & make a nice home for her family & getting away from it all. She thought she had the situataion under control, but that wasn’t the case. I miss her so much, I miss the park date we planned with our mutual children that never came to be because I didn’t want to be there if her husband was there. I remember how he insisted on shaking my hand when we met & how no matter how much I wash it still feels dirty. Sometimes a person’s independance & strength is their ultimate weakness, I begged her to let me pick up her & the kids & they could stay with me for a while or that I would try to rustle up money for a bus ticket, but she was proud & strong & said, “Naw guhrl it’ll be aw-right” It wasn’t alright, it isn’t alright & if I miss her this much I can’t imagine how much you, her family are suffering. My condolences. I am thankful she was a believer & in a safer place now. -kat (kate rasmussen)

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